It is a known fact that marriage is less popular among young people. They wonder if their relationship will really be forever and prefer to first try it out. Living together is then an option. Sometimes people just move in together spontaneously.
You can live together without arranging anything else. That is easy, but you must realize that a lot of things that are "automatically" regulated by law for married people do not apply to cohabitants. Suppose you have a child together. The father will have to acknowledge the child to get the legal bond as father with the child. For married couples, the child is born of the marriage and so the father does not have to acknowledge it. But recognition alone is not enough. By law, only the mother has custody of the child. With married couples this is again regulated by law: the married parents have joint custody. When you live together unmarried, even though father has acknowledged the child, he does not have custody and the parents must arrange this separately. This is a small effort to do (it can even be done digitally these days) but it must be done. It is important to note that the rules on acquisition of joint authority will change from 1 January 2023. All acknowledgements made from 1 January 2023 will automatically result in joint authority of father and mother. The time of recognition is decisive for the answer as to which law applies: the old or the new. So: child born in December 2022, recognised by father on 16 January 2023: joint parental authority. Other example: father acknowledges unborn child in September 2022. baby is born on 5 January 2023. No joint authority; so this must still be applied for separately by the parents at the court
How do you arrange things financially? And what if you buy a house together? A cohabitation agreement, drawn up by a notary, can help. But what I write on my website about prenuptial agreements also applies to cohabitation agreements. Often people do not realize what is in the agreement and the agreement ends up in a drawer somewhere.
Therefore, make sure that you realize beforehand what you are agreeing to and that you honor the agreements. It prevents a lot of trouble afterwards.
Another important thing: when cohabitation ends, there is no right to spousal support. This has been the subject of much litigation, but case law draws a clear line. Partner support is for ex-spouses and not for ex-cohabitants. This can be a hard sell after a long-term relationship where one of the partners has not worked to care for the children. I also often find that one of the two has put quite a bit of money into the other's home. Chances are this is not "recoverable," while ex-spouses in that situation may be entitled to compensation. You will have to document it up front. A striking example of how not to do it landed on the desk of our highest court, the Supreme Court, which issued a very interesting ruling on this matter on May 10, 2019. Read how that case went down here.
A separation of cohabitants is usually just as drastic as a divorce, I find in my practice. Even though you do not have to go to court to have the marriage dissolved, the grief is no less and a lot of things need to be arranged. I am happy to help you, either as a lawyer or as a mediator.
You can live together without arranging anything else. That is easy, but you must realize that a lot of things that are "automatically" regulated by law for married people do not apply to cohabitants. Suppose you have a child together. The father will have to acknowledge the child to get the legal bond as father with the child. For married couples, the child is born of the marriage and so the father does not have to acknowledge it. But recognition alone is not enough. By law, only the mother has custody of the child. With married couples this is again regulated by law: the married parents have joint custody. When you live together unmarried, even though father has acknowledged the child, he does not have custody and the parents must arrange this separately. This is a small effort to do (it can even be done digitally these days) but it must be done. It is important to note that the rules on acquisition of joint authority will change from 1 January 2023. All acknowledgements made from 1 January 2023 will automatically result in joint authority of father and mother. The time of recognition is decisive for the answer as to which law applies: the old or the new. So: child born in December 2022, recognised by father on 16 January 2023: joint parental authority. Other example: father acknowledges unborn child in September 2022. baby is born on 5 January 2023. No joint authority; so this must still be applied for separately by the parents at the court
How do you arrange things financially? And what if you buy a house together? A cohabitation agreement, drawn up by a notary, can help. But what I write on my website about prenuptial agreements also applies to cohabitation agreements. Often people do not realize what is in the agreement and the agreement ends up in a drawer somewhere.
Therefore, make sure that you realize beforehand what you are agreeing to and that you honor the agreements. It prevents a lot of trouble afterwards.
Another important thing: when cohabitation ends, there is no right to spousal support. This has been the subject of much litigation, but case law draws a clear line. Partner support is for ex-spouses and not for ex-cohabitants. This can be a hard sell after a long-term relationship where one of the partners has not worked to care for the children. I also often find that one of the two has put quite a bit of money into the other's home. Chances are this is not "recoverable," while ex-spouses in that situation may be entitled to compensation. You will have to document it up front. A striking example of how not to do it landed on the desk of our highest court, the Supreme Court, which issued a very interesting ruling on this matter on May 10, 2019. Read how that case went down here.
A separation of cohabitants is usually just as drastic as a divorce, I find in my practice. Even though you do not have to go to court to have the marriage dissolved, the grief is no less and a lot of things need to be arranged. I am happy to help you, either as a lawyer or as a mediator.