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Raising in two homes situation

a real challenge!

This is an interesting ruling from the Hague Court of Appeal dated July 15, 2020 (ECLI:NL:GHDHA:2020:1279; source: rechtspraak.nl).

Almost everyone agrees: smoking is bad for your own health and the health of those around you. Smoking in the presence of young children is considered "not done" these days. But does this go so far as to allow divorced parents to demand that each other not smoke in the presence of the little one? Such a request was recently before the Hague Court of Appeal for review. The court was firm and made short shrift of this request: there is no legal basis to prohibit a parent from smoking in the presence of the child. So the request was denied.

In my opinion, there is more behind this ruling. It strikes me, and it never ceases to amaze me, how many demands divorced parents make of each other regarding the upbringing and care of the children. This should be this and that should be that and this is not allowed. It is a source of ongoing discussions between parents, from which children suffer greatly. The basic principle in our society is that parents raise and care for their children as they see fit. Only when the child's development is threatened by objective standards can the government intervene. However, this also means, and the court confirms this in this ruling, that divorced parents should not interfere too much in the affairs of the other parent. Of course, it is best when the parents are on the same page with each other, but this therefore does not mean that one parent has complete control over the other's daily affairs. Taking a bit of distance and leaving it at that seems to be the court's actual message here. I would not be surprised if this court gave similar rulings on requests regarding eating patterns and day care.

Of course, this does not mean that you cannot hold the other parent accountable for his or her behavior. On the contrary: divorced parents should keep talking to each other about the upbringing and care of their children and thus not operate as two islands. But be careful not to overshoot the mark. From a legal perspective, the possibilities to force something from the other are somewhat limited. This court ruling makes that clear.

Of course, the court is not saying that smoking in front of children is fine. I think all the counselors on the court agree that you just shouldn't do that. But there is no legal basis to enforce it. I expect that lawyers in proceedings in which parents accuse each other of poor parenting and caregiving (and attach consequences to that, such as a more limited care arrangement) will cite this court ruling quite often.
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  • Welkom!
  • Welcome!
  • Home
  • Dienstverlening
    • Advocatuur
    • Mediation
  • Legal Services
    • Mediator
    • Attorney at law
  • Dienste
    • Anwaltschaft
    • Mediation
  • Family Law
    • Divorce
    • Child and divorce >
      • Introduction
      • parental authority
      • Care and upbringing
      • Raising kids in two homes
      • Moving with your child
      • Traveling with your child
    • Alimony >
      • Maintenance contributions
      • Child maintenance
      • Young Adults
      • Spousal support
      • Indexation of alimony
    • Descent
    • Community of property
    • Prenuptial Agreements
    • Living together unmarried >
      • General information
      • cohabitants and home owning
    • LHBT
  • Inheritance Law
    • Inheritance law at intestation
    • The Will
    • Succession and marriage
    • Surviving spouse
    • The legitimate share
    • Child and inheritance
  • Terms, conditions & fees
  • Contact
  • Familierecht
    • Echtscheiding
    • Kind en scheiding >
      • Ter inleiding
      • Ouderlijk gezag
      • Zorgregeling
      • Opvoeden in twee huizen
      • Verhuizen met je kind
      • Reizen met je kind
    • Alimentatie >
      • onderhoudsplicht algemeen
      • Kinderalimentatie
      • jongmeerderjarigen
      • Partneralimentatie
      • Indexering van alimentatie
    • Afstamming
    • Gemeenschap van goederen
    • Huwelijkse Voorwaarden
    • Ongehuwd samenwonen >
      • Algemene informatie
      • samenwoners en woning
    • LHBT
  • Erfrecht
    • Erfrecht bij versterf
    • Het testament
    • Wettelijke verdeling
    • Langstlevende echtgenoot
    • Legitieme portie
    • Kind en erfenis
  • Kantoorinformatie
  • Contact
  • Familienrecht
    • Scheidung
    • Kind und Scheidung >
      • Zur Einführung
      • Elterliche Verantwortung
      • Sorgerecht
      • Elternschaft in zwei Haushalten
      • Umziehen mit Ihrem Kind
      • Reisen mit Ihrem Kind
    • Unterhaltszahlungen >
      • Unterhaltszahlungen
      • Unterhalt für Kinder
      • junge Erwachsene
      • Partnerunterhalt
      • Indexierung der Unterhaltszahlungen
    • Abstammungsrecht
    • Gemeinschaft der Güter
    • Heiratsbedingungen
    • Unverheiratetes Zusammenleben >
      • Allgemeine Informationen
      • unverheiratetes Zusammenleben und Wohnung
    • LHBT
  • Erbschaftsrecht
    • Erbrecht bei Intestation
    • Das Testament
    • Gesetzliche Verteilung
    • Überlebender Ehegatte
    • Der legitime Anteil
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