Besides money, the children are often the cause of intense fights between divorcing parents. Often frustrations between the parents about the stranded relationship play a major role. It's no small thing: you fell in love and started a relationship with each other and for many people having children is just part of it. But what if the relationship then breaks down? How do you manage to give those feelings a place and then continue caring for and raising your children as fellow parents?
It is very important to realize that parenthood remains, for all your lives and not until the child is 18 years old. After divorce, both of you retain custody of the children and both of you are equally legally responsible for them. The parent who has custody has the right and duty to have contact with child, to raise and care for him or her, and to ensure that the child also has contact with the other parent. You cannot dismiss this duty with (for example) the comment: my child does not want to go to the other parent, and he has made it his own way, so "never mind".
Joint custody means that both of you must ensure that, in the interest of the child, good decisions are made together. This means that you need each other's permission for many things: for a move, school choice, medical treatment and vacation trips outside the Schengen area. Often I see that the other parent is unfairly left out of these decisions or that consent is denied where it is obvious that it simply should have been given. In no time at all you then get involved in a procedure with the court, which then has to make a decision. This is very unfortunate, because a decision by a judge is actually, by definition, less good than a solution supported by you together.
Often I hear people saying: "End his or her parental authority". The law is very strict about this. Joint custody is terminated only when the child becomes trapped or lost between the two parents, which is not easily assumed in court.
Law change from 1 January 2023!
It is important to know that the rules on acquisition of joint parental authority will change from 1 January 2023. Married couples who have a child together will automatically have joint authority of that child. This does not apply to unmarried cohabitants who have a child together. Recognition by the father only concerns his legal parenthood. Unmarried parents must jointly apply to the court for joint parental authority. This is a relatively simple procedure that they can conduct themselves through digital means. It is quite often overlooked that acknowledging the child does not lead to joint parental authority. Fortunately, this will change with effect from 1 January 2023. All acknowledgements made from 1 January 2023 will automatically lead to joint authority of father and mother. The time of recognition is decisive for the answer as to which law applies: the old or the new. So: child born in December 2022, recognised by father on 16 January 2023: joint authority. Other example: father acknowledges unborn child in September 2022. baby is born on 5 January 2023. No joint authority; so this must still be applied for separately by the parents at the court.
It is very important to realize that parenthood remains, for all your lives and not until the child is 18 years old. After divorce, both of you retain custody of the children and both of you are equally legally responsible for them. The parent who has custody has the right and duty to have contact with child, to raise and care for him or her, and to ensure that the child also has contact with the other parent. You cannot dismiss this duty with (for example) the comment: my child does not want to go to the other parent, and he has made it his own way, so "never mind".
Joint custody means that both of you must ensure that, in the interest of the child, good decisions are made together. This means that you need each other's permission for many things: for a move, school choice, medical treatment and vacation trips outside the Schengen area. Often I see that the other parent is unfairly left out of these decisions or that consent is denied where it is obvious that it simply should have been given. In no time at all you then get involved in a procedure with the court, which then has to make a decision. This is very unfortunate, because a decision by a judge is actually, by definition, less good than a solution supported by you together.
Often I hear people saying: "End his or her parental authority". The law is very strict about this. Joint custody is terminated only when the child becomes trapped or lost between the two parents, which is not easily assumed in court.
Law change from 1 January 2023!
It is important to know that the rules on acquisition of joint parental authority will change from 1 January 2023. Married couples who have a child together will automatically have joint authority of that child. This does not apply to unmarried cohabitants who have a child together. Recognition by the father only concerns his legal parenthood. Unmarried parents must jointly apply to the court for joint parental authority. This is a relatively simple procedure that they can conduct themselves through digital means. It is quite often overlooked that acknowledging the child does not lead to joint parental authority. Fortunately, this will change with effect from 1 January 2023. All acknowledgements made from 1 January 2023 will automatically lead to joint authority of father and mother. The time of recognition is decisive for the answer as to which law applies: the old or the new. So: child born in December 2022, recognised by father on 16 January 2023: joint authority. Other example: father acknowledges unborn child in September 2022. baby is born on 5 January 2023. No joint authority; so this must still be applied for separately by the parents at the court.